How To Speed Up Your Metabolism In Your 30's

I'm definitely not a dieter. So I don't keep up with fad diets or fancy pills that promise to drop pounds quickly. But I happened to have been flipping through channels and came upon The Dr. Oz show yesterday and saw something that caught my attention. There was a lady on the show who is in her 30's and she wanted to know how to speed up her metabolism. 

This struck my attention because I've noticed that after having babies my body has changed drastically. I've always been the type of person to eat what I want and not count calories. What can I say, I love food and I always have. I'm the kind of person that will eat a lot of fatty foods and if need be go to the gym and work off the extra calories. But since turning 30 two and a half years ago, it hasn't been so simple. I've noticed my metabolism has literally slowed down or just quit working all together. LOL

Now I admit that having my youngest son and breastfeeding him has worked out in my advantage to lose weight. Breastfeeding has definitely made me sweat and has increased my appetite. I know, it sounds weird that I have been able to lose weight by eating more. Well the thing that people tends to do is slow down on their eating and even eating less. This does not help our metabolism at all, eating less only slows down your metabolism. By me eating more (5 to 6 times a day to be exact) it has given my metabolism the boost it needed to burn off calories.  

Mind you small and some what healthy meals are what I have increased. I've always liked vegetables but not necessarily the kinds that other people like to eat. Like okra, Lima beans and spinach. I still eat unhealthy foods here and there but the thing is portion control. And with me eating more meals per day I definitely get full pretty quickly. I like to eat grilled or baked chicken and salmon (not because of it's health but because I'm too lazy to fry anything and I genuinely love salmon and grilled chicken) with veggies or salad. Here are some other options to help speed up that metabolism per Dr. Oz:

-Mushrooms boost metabolism (rich source of CLA, a fat that helps burn other fats) eat 1/2 cup every other day

-Pine nuts 2 tbsp 3 times a week

-Balsamic vinegar 2 tbsp with meals

Metabolism booster drink Tangerine Weight-Orade:
-8 cups brewed green tea (boost metabolism by 12% because of caffeine)
-1 sliced tangerine (increases your body's insulin sensitivity, which deals with fat)
-1 handful chopped mint leaves (no calorie flavor enhancer)
-Ice

Hope this helps some you ladies, feel free to let me know your results, if you even notice any. I plan on trying this out and will definitely share my results.

The State Of Dating

I had a very interesting conversation with my cousin yesterday, then noticed the subject came up again today on a friends Facebook status. Basically our conversation was the State of Dating. I can tell you one thing....I'm glad to be out of the rat race for a "good man". 

*So to back up just a bit, I am in no way blaming all men for the State of the dating scene these days, I just have a theory as to why it could be so awful. *

In my opinion and in some of my dealings with men I have noticed a strange pattern. There are way too many men that aren't being Fathers to their children. I tend to think that if there isn't a Father around to show (by example) how to treat a woman with respect and how to raise children, how to be a good husband, and how to be a hard worker, then we aren't going to find many "good men" to marry. But on the other hand I don't understand how a man who didn't have a Father around can still go around making babies that they don't take care of. I'm not a man so I can't tell you what their thinking process is like. But for arguments sake, if I were a man and I didn't have a Father around and I knew how abandoned I felt growing up and how stressed out my Mother felt trying to provide for me and teach me how to be a man, when a woman knows nothing about that, I would want to break that bad cycle. I'd want to stick around and do the opposite of what my "Father" did. But what usually happens is some men use not having a Father at home as an excuse for not knowing how to be a man or Father. That kind of thinking doesn't sit well with me because I've always been the type of person that if I don't know how to do something, I ask for help or find a way to learn how to do it. I totally get it, not everyone is like that, but we can't change ourselves with out some sort of work.

Now this takes me to the other reason why the state of dating these days isn't all on the men, but I will revisit that subject a little bit deeper later.

Women are the problem as well. You can't just blindly through out blame and not look in the mirror. Now I understand this doesn't apply to everyone but there is a reason why some women keep attracting the same kind of man. 

#1. You put up with all the B.S. that some of these lames throw at you, and what does that teach them? Nothing constructive. They continue to be the same way with the next girl they meet because you ladies make it way to easy for them not to change. Why would he want to change. He can be an ass and you will still continue to date/sleep with him. Never put up with crap because you just want to have a man....any man. Which brings me to my next point.

#2. If you can't be alone, then HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM! How can you depend on someone else to make you happy when you don't know what it feels like to be happy on your own? After reading this memoir about a recovering drug addict (great read you should pick up the book, no I'm not a drug addict but I damn sure know how to spot one....A Piece Of Cake by Cupcake Brown) I've learned that if you constantly depend on a man to make you happy at some point you stops being a priority and you will allow that man to treat you badly and misuse you. Most women don't even realize how badly a man is treating them until the relationship is over. And I'm not talking about the men that abuse women, I mean the kind of men that don't appreciate you. And this all leads you to # 1, you will put up with anything just to keep him around. Good or bad. SMH.....

#3. Some of you women didn't have your Father around either. Hey I'm not judging, I didn't have my sperm donor around either. I from time to time sit and think of how much different my self esteem would have been  growing up if I had a Good Father (one like my husband) around. Growing up as a little dark skinned black girl is hard. And with out you having a Father around to give you courage or a positive self image you will fall for anything. I think my Mom did a great job, but it took me years to love my skin. Hell I don't think that came until my adult years. Hearing "oooh you so black" and "ooooh she so ugly" doesn't make you have the best outlook on being a dark skinned girl. And the worst part of it all is that it mostly came from lighter skinned black people. Go figure. Don't get me wrong because I had my run ins with a couple of close minded white kids when I was in elementary school in Texas. I had to hear negativity anytime I had my hair braided and even when I was washing my hands in the rest room I was asked if I was trying to wash the black off of me. Yeah I had a lot of fights my first two years in Texas. LOL the Principal just loved me. (I'm totally being sarcastic)  But can you imagine how none of those hateful/hurtful words would have affected me had I had a Father telling me how beautiful I was?  So I guess I've come back around to blaming men for the state of dating now a days. LOL I tried to make it even guys.....sorry Oh but there is more.....

#4. And my final point.....whew LOL

A lot of you women, grown and newly grown, are not carrying yourselves like ladies. Now don't get me wrong, I curse a lot....A WHOLE LOT! (but I definitely know how to be professional and respectful to elders) And yes I've had my "wild" years. But you newly grown women are something else. You talk so hard that the only way I know you're a woman is if I look at your boobs. You don't know how to tone down the ghetto-ness (is that a word)/hoochiness. Who the hell wants to introduce you to their mom? I would hope when Dominic becomes of age and brings a young lady home to meet me, that he would have enough sense to pick one that has home training and manners. One that hasn't slept with everybody and constantly bragging about how "good" there stuff is, and one that wasn't rolling around on the club dance floor in a mini skirt with their legs gaped open for all to see! Ladies if you don't respect yourselves how in the world do you expect these men to respect you? Stop depending on men to pay your bills. Stop being baby mamas. When the hell did that become a badge of honor? I'm not downing any of you single Mothers because the ones I know work hard and are great examples for their children. But some of you women think it's cute to have multiple children by different men just to see how much child support you can get out of them. Get a job and some dignity!  It's one thing to fall in love with some one and have them not turn out to be the Father/Man you thought they would be and you're left picking up the pieces and working hard to cover their share of responsibility, but it's a whole other thing when you are purposely trying to get pregnant because you think it's cute!

Well let me stop preaching LOL but before I do I must say that ladies we have to make better choices in the men that we date. Stop dating only for looks or only for money or status.  Open yourself up to all men. Trust me they are all the same, they all have the same Good and Bad qualities (that goes for Black, White, Hispanic, Asian....etc I've literally almost dated all races).  Look for substance and don't put up with all of that unnecessary bull.  Stop blaming everything on the men because a lot of you women are just as trifling. You'll expect a man to have all of these things when you don't have them for yourself. I didn't date my husband because he made a lot of money. Hell I didn't even know how much he made when we were first dating. I was looking to only get to know him because he seemed interesting and he had a lot to talk about that was not sex related but intelligent. I believe you should build your wealth together so you can appreciate each other more. It builds a strong relationship. But hey that's just my opinion. Who knows....All I can say is I'm happy, in love and am loved and respected.

Kids....smh

So just when you think you have this potty training thing under control and your toddler has pretty much mastered the art of going #1 & #2 in the potty, you are thrown for a loop!

The weekend started off nicely. I won some concert tickets to see Alicia Keys on Friday night and got to see the concert with one of my long lost friends (glad we found each other and are back in contact). Oh and did I mention I had a kid free night? Then Saturday rolls along and we get invited to my cousins house for a little family gathering and grilling. So it was turning out to be a LOVELY weekend. We go pick up the kiddo from the parentals and shuffle on over to my cousins house. Oh wait I forgot to mention me and the hubster caught a movie and a dinner before heading out to pick up the kiddo. Wonderful relaxing start to a beautiful day. All goes well at my cousins house, the kiddos are having a great time, was able to hang out with my Mom and Aunt, and play a little NBA 2K10 (at least that's what I think it was called).


Now mind you, I am getting beat by a 5 year old (who is talking more trash than Charles Barkley, and we all know he talked a lot of trash) in an Basketball video game and it was my first time playing the game. All of a sudden I hear a scream coming from the back of the house and my cousin in law is yelling "OMG Dominic just pooped (well that's not the word she used) all over the place"! I'm just sitting there thinking to myself, she must be exaggerating because surely my child knows how to go #2 in the toilet and if he were having a problem he would come to Mommy, right? Uhhhhhh nope I guess he wouldn't. I guess my child would try to go poop all by him self even though he was having problems. I mean why ask mommy, he is a big boy right?
So I walk back to the back of the house and try to mentally prepare myself for what I'm about to witness. And I can honestly tell you that I still was not prepared to see what I saw. MY child could not get his shorts off to go poop so he pooped in his pants and then took off his pants and underwear (but left the socks and shoes on) and started to rinse his underwear off in the sink. Poop is everywhere, on the toilet seat on the tub, on the floor on the bathroom rug and all over the floor (because he walked back n forth trying to hide the evidence in the sink).


Do you know what my child said to me when he saw me walk into the bathroom? He says " Oh it's ok Mommy I fixed it, I cleaned it all up, go back in the room and don't tell daddy"!
WTF? How in the world could this child have pooped this much. I mean he is only 3 and so little. SMH.....well ok he isn't exactly little but he is 3 1/2 yrs old. I'm not gonna tell you how I cleaned it all up, just know that Mama cleaned it up and daddy put him in the shower. Thank God that we had just picked him up from Abuela and Abuelos house or we wouldn't have clothes that fit him.


Why is it that when you have kids no one tells you that you will be cleaning poop off of the floor, or the bed or the carpet? I mean why not tell us up front so we know what to expect? I can handle it, I'm a big girl.


Well atleast that's over and behind us, we just have to practice on taking our clothes off that have buttons that don't snap. The lessons are never done. But on a brighter note, I'll leave ya with some of Dom's funny sayings or doings.


So Dom talks back a lot, he always has to have the last word. Not sure he gets that from me, we all know I'm mouthy but the last word? Not so sure. The hubster is yelling at Dom for not paying attention or something, and Dominic yells back "Don't loud at me Daddy, you loud me, I loud you"! Oh and Bedtime last night was hellatious. When Daddy is home, Dom never wants to go to bed, he wants more tv time or he wants to jump on Daddy's back one more time. Well Hubster goes to check on Dom, and of course Dom has not gone to bed yet, he has been sitting in the dark playing with toys for over an hour. So Hubster says "Dominic you need to go to bed you have school tomorrow" Dom says, "Daddy, can I talk to you for a second"? Hubster says "what about" Dom says "Can I have 3 seconds on the tv, come on daddy please".......Do you see what I have to deal with? I think he is gonna be a comedian one day or at the very least an actor. LOL

Life

Isn't it funny how when your young you have this vision of how you "hope" your life will be? Only to finally reach that point you envisioned and it doesn't turn out that way? Well I guess I can't say none of it turned out the way that I had hoped. I mean I am for the most part happy. But career wise, eh not so much.


It's funny how when you are in the dreaming phase you leave out some details. Like getting married, having kids and owning pets. LOL I guess I always envisioned a husband, but I don't remember there being a dream segment about any kids. Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful thing. If you are a planner or a goal setter, I think you should add kids to your list of possibilities so that you then map out a plan for childcare, and who is going to keep them while your out working, oh and a even bigger thing, how much it's all gonna cost you.


No one ever tells you that childcare (not the best that money can buy, but the kind that keeps your kid safe and entertained while you go make your millions) is gonna cost you about $6000 to $7000 a year....EASILY! I'm still trying to figure out how other people manage this. Yeah it's easy to find a "job" not in your career field, that doesn't pay much, and only pays you enough to just cover childcare cost, but leaves absolutely nothing else for paying bills. Yeah been there done that. But is it worth going in everyday for eight hours, some days 12 and still just making barely $10 per hr while your kids are being raised by someone else, and your bills are piling up because the only thing you are truly any good at the hours of business don't fit with your family schedule? Aghhhhh! It's enough to make you want to pull your hair out. Now you have to take all of these things into consideration before taking a job. You have to now figure out what days your gonna be scheduled to work, how much the pay is (because it has to be enough to cover daycare out of your own check), which daycare are you gonna go with, because it has to be one that teaches pre-k, and what times does it open and close.

Oh yeah I forgot the best part. After you finally find a job that meets all of that criteria and you start working, your boss later comes to you and changes everything up. You no longer have the hours they hired you to do, it's a totally different schedule now and per your boss, you take those hours or quit! Well well.....your back at square one. Isn't life so perfect?

So now back at square one looking for work, and your unemployed "friend" tells you how you should just take any job you can get. Did they not read the memo on parenthood? Probably not I definitely did not. So now you have to hear this from your friends telling you what you should do, mind you none of them know of all of the criteria that has to fit before you can even start working. Bummer I know....Life can be a funny journey in which only the strong survive.

Of course I have a plan, but I'm not going to share it just yet, I'll just keep working on my new project until it's finished. Continue on my current path and pray for success at the end. It's like the saying goes, when life gives you lemons you have to make lemonade. :-)